1st Democrat Party Army Group

It is well-documented that the Democrat Party has some major alliances and these alliances have been in full battle mode for quite some time. We can now put together a rough sketch of how this rank and file is organized and that it's organized like a a standard U.S. army group. An army group is simply two or more armies under a single command.

The command group, known as Democrat Staff HQ,¹ is relying on this army group to bring victory. Staff HQ has dispatched orders to the army group and the group has been following orders with unflailing obedience.

This force is comprised of three armies and several subordinate corps and divisions and is called the 1st Democrat Party Army Group. Intelligence confirms existence of this force and the known makeup is listed below.


1st Democrat Army Group

• Army of the Media
• TV Corps
• CNN Division
• ABC News Division
• MSNBC/NBC News Division
• CBS News Division
• Dan R----- Brigade
  
• Newspaper Corps
• WashPost Division
• NY Times Division
  
• LA Times Division
• SF Chronicle Division
  
• News Service Corps
• AP Division
• Reuters Division
  
• Magazine Corps
• Time Division
• Newsweek Division
• Army of the Special Interests
• Minorities Corps
• AJS (Al, Jesse, Spike) Division
  
• Feminist Division
• NOW Brigade
  
• If you're poor you're a victim Division
• G/L Division
  
• Studds is a hero, Foley is a pervert Brigade
• AA Corps
  
• Environmentalist Division
• Treehugger Brigade
• Kyoto Brigade
• I can drive an SUV but you can't Brigade
  
• Union Division
• ACLU Division
• Brigade of the Illegals
  
• The People's Liberation Army
  
• Net Corps
• Blog Division
• Huffington Post Brigade
• Dailykos Brigade
• Moveon.org Brigade
  
• Censored by Google Division
• Celebrity Corps
• Entertainment Division
  
• Barbara S-------- Brigade
• Rosie O' ------- Brigade
  
• Michael M---- Brigade
• Jon S------ Brigade
• Air America Division
• Billionaire Division
• George S----- Brigade
• Re-education Corps
• Collegiate Division
• Harvard Brigade
• Yale Brigade
• Columbia Brigade

Other Elements

It is believed that there may be other elements of this army group. Republican strategists are struggling to combat this vast and relentless force. Some notes of interest about some of the forces:

• It is believed, however, that certain divisions, notably the ones in Newspaper Corps, Army of the Media, may be losing strength and fighting battles using older tactics. Intelligence code word for that corps is "Dinosaur Media"
• Several operatives assigned to an unspecified brigade of the Time Division, Magazine Corps, Army of the Media, were captured on October 17, 2006, wearing cheerleading outfits and chanting "Obama in '08." It is believed they were the same operatives who were handing out propaganda with a picture of an elephant's ass last week; it is not known if those were self-portraits of key personnel of the brigade or not.
  
• It is also believed that elements of the Environmentalist Division, AA Corps, Army of the Special Interests, may have gone AWOL and defected to the Green Party. The Kyoto Brigade of the division is believed to only exist on paper.
• Intelligence confirms that the Brigade of the Illegals, ACLU Division, AA Corps, Army of the Special Interests, is being brought across the border at night and at weak areas of the line
  
• The Dan R----- Brigade, assigned to the CBS News Division, TV Corps, Army of the Media, is no longer active and was defeated by believing its own, self-generated, intelligence
• The Air America Division, assigned to Celebrity Corps, People's Liberation Army, has been inactivated due to malfeasance, incompetence, feckless leadership, and an inability to have subordinates follow orders; effective Oct. 2006.
• The Google Division is believed to have made foes, like sites that criticize certain religions and ads for books that criticize our 42nd President, simply disappear from web searches
  
• It's been reported that the Celebrity Corps, People's Liberation Army, may be losing strength. There are widespread reports of lack of any intelligence within the corps.

Tactics

SOP includes deploying the Army of the Media first and cutting off conservative opinion while garnering an assault composed of small stories about someone who did something wrong that would normally get no press if the person were a liberal. Sometimes the Net Corps are temporarily assigned to that army to assist with the initial assault. Many attacks begin with a barrage of "Blame Bush" rhetoric and attempt to convince people that history began on January 20, 2001. Another common tactic by this Army is to ignore the good news (the economy, record home ownership, the stock market, et al) and put on a lid on any Democratic scandal. If the scandal gets in the open, the Army of the Press moves quickly and makes the person a hero. This is called the Stubbs Plan and has unofficially been referred to as the McGreevey Maneuver.

Plan of Action

To be successful, the Army of Media must be defeated first as the other Armies, while strong, tend to rely on this Army to deliver the first blow, and then jump in when the fight gets easy. This quite a force to be reckoned with and only education and common sense can help defeat this formidable foe. Conservative blogs, websites, and radio shows are specially trained and equipped to defend against the tactics of the army group's Army of the Media. Thus, the first foray must be directed at the Army of Media. Strength lies not in defense, but attack.




¹Clinton, Kerry, Kennedy, Reid, Pelosi